You're Not Listening

What You're Missing and Why It Matters

By: Kate Murphy

Narrated by: Kate Murphy

"How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.

On social media, we shape our personal narratives.

At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.

We’re not listening.

And no one is listening to us.

Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.

In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

©2019 Kate Murphy (P)2019 Macmillan Audio

Really good book, not my favorite narration

I found great value in the content, but ironically loathed the author's voice. My distaste for her voice may have just been some personal remembrance triggered by her tone. She read it with spirit... I just disliked listening. Great observations and compelling ideas kept me going despite my auditory aversion. If I had a do-over, I would read the book rather than listen to it. The book is well written and the fact that I will most likely purchase the paper version to soak up more of it's wisdom should speak for itself.

Very insightful

In a world where ain't no body got time to listen, this book is a glass of cold water.

I really need to listen better

A bit confrontational because it showed I really need to listen better. If you want to learn to listen better and want give people the sense that they are really listened to, this is the book for you. Read it, learn it and apply it!

A helpful and entertaining!

I laughed at myself a little and learned so much about how to listen better and why I want to do that. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to learn how to connect better with others.

A book sorely needed in today's frenetic life

At work, my employees let me know that I was not a great listener. As a result, I searched for and found this audiobook. I loved listening to it and it has been a catalyst for change for me. Not only have I improved at work, but I have also improved at home with my wife and kids. If I change just a fraction of what this book talks about, I will have a considered my experience a success. Thanks for writing such an important book that is so badly needed in today's society.

Calming your own voice to listen

If you need to calm your own voice in your head to better listen to those around you, check out this book - it’s worth the read. I appreciate that I’m not the only one out there that deals with the constant chatter.

Listening is leadership and I believe this can help.

Great narration and message everyone should hear

I found the narrater (and author) incredibly precise and a good narrataror. Her voices exudes passion about the subject which I think does add to the audiobook. The book itself is concise without too much fluff. It adds anecdotes and interesting quotes and without getting anecdotal. It changed the way how I listen, and I really try to give the people around me more quality attention and true listening. Like she mentioned, this can be surprisingly hard. Easy recommendation for anyone who might be interested.

Must listen for all

although the book starts slow and has a bit of fluff in the beginning, I believe it houses a lot of important lessons for everyone to learn.

a conversation with great content

why listening is important and how it can make people feel. using listening as a tool to improve understanding and move you towards what you want. I'll be reading this again for sure. seems like a book I'll take more away from every time I read.

Worth listening to more than once

I’ve wanted to be a better and more curious listener for some time.

This book has opened my eyes in profound and hopefully lasting ways. Kate Murphy has a wonderful way of combining story and research to help me see my interactions with other people and the ways that I’m not listening very well.

I came away from this book more hopeful and committed to being a better listener. Kate convinced me that listening is far more than nodding and paraphrasing; it is my next great adventure!

This book was a joy to listen to.