
Fever Beach
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Will Damron
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By:
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Carl Hiaasen
About this listen
Another instant classic from Carl Hiaasen—laugh-out-loud funny, tackling the current chaotic and polarized American culture (following in the path of Squeeze Me), with two wonderful Hiaasen heroes
“The afternoon of September first, dishwater-gray and rainy, a man named Dale Figgo picked up a hitchhiker on Gus Grissom Boulevard in Tangelo Shores, Florida. The hitchhiker, who reminded Figgo of Danny DeVito, asked for a lift to the interstate. Figgo said he’d take him there after finishing an errand.”
Thus begins Fever Beach, with an errand that leads—in pure Hiaasen-style—into the depths of Florida at its most Floridian: a sun-soaked bastion of right-wing extremism, white power, greed, and corruption. Figgo, it turns out, is the only hate-monger ever to be kicked out of the Proud Boys for being too dumb and incompetent. On January 6, 2021 he thought he was defacing a statue of Ulysses S. Grant, but he wound up spreading feces all over a statue of James Zacharia George, a Civil War Confederate war leader.
Figgo's already messy life is about to get more complicated, thanks to two formidable adversaries. Viva Morales is a newly transplanted Floridian, a clever woman recently taken to the cleaners by her ex-husband, now working at the Mink Foundation, a supposedly philanthropic organization, and renting a room in Figgo’s apartment because there’s no place else she can afford. Twilly Spree has an anger management problem, especially when it comes to those who deface the environment, and way too many inherited millions of dollars. He's living alone a year after his dog died, two years after he sank a city councilman’s party barge, and three years after his divorce.
Viva and Twilly are plunged into a mystery—involving dark money and darker motives—they are determined to solve, and become entangled in a world populated by some of Hiaasen’s most outrageous characters: Claude and Electra Mink—billionaire philanthropists with way too much plastic surgery and a secret right-wing agenda—and Congressman Clure Boyette—who dreams of being Florida’s (and maybe America’s) most important politician. The only things standing in his way are his love for hookers and young girls, and his total lack of intelligence. We meet Noel Kristianson—a Scandinavian agnostic injured when Figgo thinks he’s a Jewish threat to humanity and runs him over with his car; Jonus Onus—Figgo’s partner in white power idiocy; and many, many more. Hiaasen ties them all together and delivers them to their appropriate fates, in his wildest and most entertaining novel to date.
©2025 Carl Hiaasen (P)2025 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Six months out of high school and just days after finishing Marine boot camp, Jesse McDermitt is finally ready to unwind and have a little fun when he goes home on leave. But everything Jesse remembers—his friends, his family, the sparkling beaches and familiar waters of the Caloosahatchee River and Pine Island Sound, even his faithful Lab, Molly, have all changed.
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Dance of the Reptiles
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Overall
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Performance
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Great book. Required reading!
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By: Carl Hiaasen, and others
Critic reviews
"Remember Twilly Spree? The independently wealthy sometime ecowarrior who appeared in Hiaasen’s Sick Puppy (2000), and Scat (2009)? He’s in this new book, too, which is one of many things the novel has going for it. It also has Dale Figgo, a right-wing nutcase who was too crazy for the Proud Boys; Viva Morales, who’s renting a room from Dale, and whose bosses, a pair of alleged philanthropists, are almost certainly up to no good; an ambitious and deeply corrupt congressman; Dale’s mom, who isn’t thrilled about what her son is doing with his life; and a bunch of other delightfully weird characters. There is a serious story to be told about right-wing conspiracists, corrupt politicians, and shady philanthropists, and Hiaasen is sort of telling that story, but mostly he’s making us laugh—and not polite little giggles, either. We’re talking giant belly laughs, embarrass-yourself-in-public spleen-busters. This could be his funniest book yet."—Booklist
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Story
Tourist season is swinging into high gear in Miami. So are the activities of a bizarre terrorist group determined to keep the hapless "snowbirds" away. Armed with bombs, weed, and jumbled credos, they move toward their grand target, the Orange Bowl Parade, with plans to bring Miami and its tourist trade to a halt.
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CAUTION: BELLY ACHING LAUGHTER IMMINENT!
- By Tracy P. on 02-08-17
By: Carl Hiaasen
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The Edible Exile
- A Byliner Original
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Cuervo is a pampered Nicaraguan moneyman, funding a guerrilla war from his cushy Miami penthouse. Sixto is his hulking, pistol-packing attendant, whose job satisfaction is on the wane. When an aging mobster enters their lives with a promise to help the rebel cause - with a planeload of chickens originally intended for voodoo sacrifice - a tense situation turns combustible. From the wickedly funny mind of Carl Hiaasen comes "The Edible Exile", a raucous story of sleazeball nihilists, lovable thugs, and jungle-weary freedom fighters who collide in a battle of wills, ego, and the almighty dollar.
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A bit short
- By JC on 09-10-15
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Basket Case
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Once a hotshot investigative reporter, Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily, "plotting to resurrect my newspaper career by yoking my byline to some famous stiff". Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dead in a fishy-smelling scuba "accident", might be the stiff of Jack’s dreams - if only he can figure out what happened.
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My fav Hiaasen book
- By Karen on 11-28-16
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Strip Tease
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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No matter what you heard or thought about the movie version of Strip Tease, forget it. Film simply can’t catch the layers of humor, satire, and imagination that Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Hiaasen creates in each of his novels.
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Hilarious drama
- By Pam W on 11-14-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Bad Monkey
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Andrew Yancy—late of the Miami Police and soon-to-be-late of the Monroe County sheriff’s office—has a human arm in his freezer. There’s a logical (Hiaasenian) explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig (it’s not called the roach patrol for nothing).
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Flame-out fail
- By Lars on 06-16-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Dance of the Reptiles
- Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns
- By: Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson - editor
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can tell have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, think again. Dance of the Reptiles collects the best of Hiaasen’s Miami Herald columns, which lay bare the stories—large and small—that demonstrate anew that truth is far stranger than fiction.
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Great book. Required reading!
- By Ron on 02-12-14
By: Carl Hiaasen, and others
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Powder Burn
- By: Carl Hiaasen, Bill Montalbano
- Narrated by: Robert Ramirez
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Carl Hiaasen teamed up with journalist Bill Montalbano for this gripping thriller. Powder Burn stars Chris Meadows, a successful Miami architect who's leaving a meeting with an ex-girlfriend when he sees a car strike his ex, killing her. But the nightmare is only just beginning. As a witness to the crime, Chris knows the car's passengers - thugs linked to Miami's deadliest drug lords - are sure to come after him next. But what can he do if the police refuse to give him protection?
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I Love Carl Hiaasen, but man this was the hard
- By Samantha on 09-30-13
By: Carl Hiaasen, and others
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Skin Tight
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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This novel by Carl Hiaasen, author of Tourist Season and Native Tongue, begins as most thrillers do, with a killing. But this is no everyday, hum-drum, garden variety killing. Our hero, Nick Stranahan, a 42-year-old private investigator who has killed five men and been married five times, skewers his attacker's aorta with the razor-sharp bill of a stuffed marlin.
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Skintight
- By Chris on 08-02-04
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Assume the Worst
- The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Carl Hiaasen
- Length: 15 mins
- Unabridged
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This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go - the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning." So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen?
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Practical, If Shopworn Wisdom. But not worth...
- By Advocatus Peregrini on 06-23-18
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Lucky You
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Grange, Florida, is famous for its miracles - the weeping fiberglass Madonna, the Road-Stain Jesus, the stigmata man. And now it has JoLayne Lucks, unlikely winner of the state lottery. Unfortunately, JoLayne's winning ticket isn't the only one. The other belongs to Bodean Gazzer and his raunchy sidekick, Chub, who believe they're entitled to the whole $28 million jackpot. And they need it quickly, to start their own underground militia before NATO troops invade America. But JoLayne Lucks has her own plans for the Lotto money - an Eden-like forest in Grange must be saved from strip-malling.
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Not Hiaasen's best work
- By Jimmy on 06-18-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
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The Downhill Lie
- A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Carl Hiaasen
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl Hiaasen wisely quit golfing in 1973. But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years - and memories of shanked 7-irons - faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son -and also as a grandfather.
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Not a Bogie but a Birdie !
- By G. Cernicky on 10-08-08
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Anima Rising
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Mary Jane Wells
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Vienna, 1911. Gustav Klimt, the most famous painter in the Austrian Empire, the darling of Viennese society, spots a woman’s nude body in the Danube canal. He knows he should summon a policeman, but he can’t resist stopping to make a sketch first. And as he draws, the woman coughs. She’s alive! Back at his studio, Klimt and his model-turned-muse Wally tend to the erstwhile-drowned girl. She’s nearly feral and doesn’t remember who she is, or how she came to be floating in the canal. Klimt names her Judith, after one of his most famous paintings, and resolves to help her find her memory.
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It’s an amazing story
- By Gene on 05-20-25
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Class Clown
- The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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How does the son of a Presbyterian minister wind up winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a wildly inaccurate newspaper column read by millions of people? In Class Clown, Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious ride, starting with a childhood largely spent throwing rocks for entertainment—there was no internet—and preparing for nuclear war by hiding under a classroom desk. After literally getting elected class clown in high school, he went to college, where, as an English major, he read snippets of great literature when he was not busy playing in a rock band (it was the sixties).
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More than good enough, though less than the very best memoirs
- By Tom Craven on 05-19-25
By: Dave Barry
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Nightshade
- By: Michael Connelly
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Detective Stilwell has been "exiled" to a low-key post policing rustic Catalina Island, after department politics drove him off a homicide desk on the mainland. But while following up the usual drunk-and-disorderlies and petty thefts that come with his new territory, Detective Stilwell gets a report of a body found wrapped in plastic and weighed down at the bottom of the harbor. Crossing all lines of protocol and jurisdiction, he starts doggedly working the case.
By: Michael Connelly
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The Flower House
- By: Nicky Black
- Narrated by: Phillippa Wilson, Trevor Fox
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Property developer Vivien Young thought she’d finally rebuilt her life. After a messy divorce, she’s returned to her childhood sanctuary, the grand Georgian home she now shares with her ageing father. Landing the contract to redevelop the Valley Park housing estate feels like the icing on the cake – a chance to prove she can succeed and keep her floundering business afloat.
By: Nicky Black
Full of laughs and surprises
Keeps getting better and better
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Timely themes
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If you love “The View” you’ll love this.
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Best EVER if you aren’t a……
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Just say’n.
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I know of whom you speak. Nice job.
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Great satire
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Fantastic
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Funny
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